A Royal Obsession

I think it's because Prince William and Kate Middleton got married just two weeks after Rob and I - and I might have set my alarm to watch their wedding and then continued to watch coverage all day while writing thank you notes...ahem.  And now, of course our babies are less than three months apart - but I can honestly say I'm obsessed with the royal baby.  I was on baby watch (along with half the world) the week prior to Kate going into labor ...and from there, waited with nervous anticipation for the announcement of the baby's birth (a boy)!  And maybe, I stalked the computer at work today to see if there was an official baby name (George Alexander)!

I mean the similarities are astounding - Kate loves polka dots (I LOVE polka dots)!  In breaking with royal tradition they aren't having a nanny (shocking I know, but we don't have a nanny either).  They are both on Facebook and Twitter (hello, I'm a social media lover)!  William drove them home from the hospital with Kate in the back of their car (same driving scenario as us :)  And, upon close inspection (read - practically stalking) I'm pretty sure they have the same swaddle blankets as we do.  Coincidence?  I think not.  But, until Kate decides we should be besties (fingers crossed it's soon - Kate, have your people call my people) - I thought I might throw some internet advice her way.  Granted, I've not been part of the circle of moms long myself - I've learned a thing or two these past few weeks.

1.) Other than breastfeeding, there are virtually no baby duties that dads can't do.  William can certainly help you cuddle, cook, change diapers, bathe, clothe, teach, and babysit just as effectively as you.  (And if George is anything like Max, he'll really enjoy a little daddy time)!

2.) Take some time for your little family of three - but don't be afraid to take baby out either!  After you get over the enormous amount of "stuff" you need in the diaper bag - it's actually quite easy to go out with baby socially.

3.)  Put down the smart phone.  Sure, it's tempting to want to tweet, instagram, snapchat, facebook the crap out of your baby - some days you just need to soak in their awesomeness.

4.)  Time will literally fly.  Like, at their one month appointment, you'll be going - "did we have a newborn?"  "Was our baby ever that small"? Soak it up.  I cannot reiterate this enough.

5.)  Realize the sleepless nights won't go on forever.  As George gets bigger and eats more food - he will begin sleeping in longer stretches - I know!!  Right??  Amazing I tell you.  And, it's totally normal if you wake up and panic because the baby didn't get up.  And then you tiptoe into the nursery to check on him.  And there he is - still swaddled and breathing and STILL SLEEPING!  Hooray!  Give yourself a pat on the back and go back to bed.  I repeat - go back to bed.  You may be tempted to hustle around the house getting other crap done - but really, go back to bed.  You can thank me later.

6.)  Don't try to straighten each mess right after its made or even every time you leave the house.  I went through a period where I was straightening the piles of books every single time I left the house and four times in between.  This is borderline ridiculous.  Instead, tidy up toys and books once a day, or even (heaven forbid) just every other day.  (Or perhaps you'll have a house keeper do this?  If so, I might be a little jealous).

7.)  Other moms and especially sisters are awesome - especially your own.  Dont' be afraid to call them, lean on them, ask them for coffee, and parenting tips.  Seriously - they want to help.  I mean it.

8.) Babies like routines and predictability. I swear Max knows its bedtime when Rob and I take him upstairs and do bath, diaper change, onesie, maybe a story or two, and bottle.  He totally gets it (he might be a genious...just saying). 

9.)  Forget about being a perfect mom - that's a term defined by culture and other people.  There is no such thing (but a million ways to be a good mom) and working to appear as one requires so much effort that there's not much energy left for you to spend being a loving parent - which is obviously top priority. 

10.)  Dearest Kate, perhaps the best advice I can give you - your body will look strange.  You may even look in the mirror and think - "wow - I've got a lot of work to do".  :)  Everyday though - it gets easier and your body recovers.  Then, you might think, it would feel great to get a hair cut, maybe a dye job.  So you head to the salon.  Here's where you need to listen.  YOUR HAIR IS AMAZING!!  Literally, the most beautiful hair I've ever seen - put down the scissors.  Don't get a "mom cut" just yet - give yourself some time.  Just get bangs (like me!) if you need a small change :) 

You've got this - it's not too scary after the first couple days.  And really, call me - I've got more where this came from. 

XoXo

Working Mama

Dear Max,

Today has nearly come to a close - the house is quiet - the toys are picked up.  I'm listening to the sound of your breathing on the monitor and daddy is alseep upstairs.  Tomorrow is a big day for us.  My maternity leave is over and I will head back to the Zoo and into the classroom. Today, I tried to be really present with you all day long - to soak in you at (almost) eleven weeks.  Some days I turn the tv on during your feedings or catch up on instagram while you nap.  But, today I put a lot of my normal "busy-ness" aside to focus on you.  Your smiles, your squeals, your breathing, your head craning to see me on the changing table, your pride as you held your head up during tummy time, and your joy at seeing daddy coming through the door at 3:45. 

I never want you to question if I love work more than you Max.  It will feel surreal to leave you behind tomorrow.  But, if I'm honest, it will also be a bit of a relief to relax into the normalcy that work brings too.  I crave adult conversations and my work friends.  Some people work to earn a living and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love.  I'm lucky that I'm sort of doing both.  I knew I wanted to be in environmental education very early on.  My parents fostered a love of the outdoors and I still get excited to share that wonder with the preschoolers in my classroom.  It makes me proud when my students make a connection between animals and conservation.  When you become an adult Max, I would never want you to sacrifice what you love for the people you love - no matter how much money you make. 

But, back to the matter at hand.  There are many reasons moms work and they might not always be what you think.  These are mine.

I work because I like my students and I love animals.  Because interacting with them, makes me happy and that in turn bleeds over into other areas, including how patient I am with you and the fun activities I will plan for us!

Because some day, you may want to play lacrosse.  Or, soccer.  Maybe even want guitar lessons - and those cost money.  Because this house and the things you need cost money and are made possible by two incomes.

Because I want our little family of three to be able to travel - not just to see your grandparents but all over the country. 

Because I know that being away from me will encourage you to become your own person.  Make new friends.  Develop your own skills without mommy hovering over you. And also, opening your eyes and heart to loving other people. 

Because I want you to be proud of me.

So, I love you Max.  If I had to choose, I would choose you - over and over again.  But, I'm glad I can also provide for you and give you the wonderful life you deserve. 

Love you forever,
Mama

Raising a Reader

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved books.  Some of my fondest memories are being read to - particularly the Little House on the Prairie series.  My mom would gather Stacy and I before bed and we would read a chapter or so at a time.  I suppose I was intrigued by life on the frontier (sod on your roof...and the whole make do and mend mentality - the Ingalls family really knows what's up).  It was also quite common while I was growing up to see my dad reading the newspaper after dinner and then moving on to other novels later in the evening.  For the longest time his prized possession was a tattered mouse book mark I made him in grade school.  He used it well past it's true expiration date - to the point where both it's googley eyes had fallen off.    

My elementary years were filled with reading series like The Babysitters Club, Boxcar Children, and Anne of Green Gables.  We participated in the summer reading program at the library and my love of reading for pleasure continued to grow.  My favorite class in college was "Childrens Literature" (a class I didn't even need) - where we discovered new childrens authors and even met at local bookstores close to campus for class.  I've even been known to stuff my suitcase when we go on vacation with an obscene amount of books - I hate getting stuck without reading material!  And truth be told, my secret desire is to write a children's book (the market is serioulsy lacking on books about chinchilla's and other lesser known zoo animals...)

By the time I had committed to environmental education as a major - I had built a nice collection of childrens books. Every zoo trip, family vacation, or even garage sale was an opportunity to add to my collection.  When Rob and I moved into our house - our basement quickly filled with boxes of my books.  Being the awesome guy that he is - he never even mentioned it - and in fact he loves reading too!  He has his own box full of books and granted our tastes are vastly different (him - Science Fiction...me - Nora Roberts) - but I LOVE that he can hunker down with a good book just like me!  In fact, he's often the one to suggest a trip to the library for new books!  There is something so old fashioned and lovely about visiting the library and being surrounded by stacks of boxes...each with a whole new world of characters just waiting to be met. 

When we started arranging Max's nursery - I knew it would need to include a space for books (heck, I even had a shower where people brought books!)  Rob helped my vision come to life and we have three bookshelves full of stories to be read and shared.  I probably have enough books to start a small library (it's the teacher in me I think...) but I plan to rotate the books according to his interests or season...time will tell :)

After Max arrived, I couldn't wait to start "reading" together.  Now, when I use the term "reading"... I mean we are sitting together, paging through his books, and pointing at the animals or colors etc.  He's always been able to sit and look at the pages - but lately it seems like he is staring at the page longer and genuinely interested in holding (eating?) the books.  It might have something to do with the silly voices we use or the brightly colored animals (there is definitely an animal trend happening around here) - but I'm so happy he is interested!  We have now made reading part of our night time routine and I can't wait to continue to help foster his love of books!

 XoXo

My Mama Heart

I doubt very much that I'm the only one who uses the term "mama heart" - but lately, it's all I've been thinking about (well, that and when did Max last eat?).  For those whom it's been a while since you took anatomy - the heart is a vital organ found in the center of your chest.  I think though, it's more like a muscle, because man, has mine done some stretching over the last year.  Being pregnant was sort of a warm up if you will - and then a tiny human emerged (from a different organ, just to be clear..haha).  This tiny human, Maxwell James, has stretched my heart in so many ways over the last ten weeks.  Similar to the Grinch on Christmas Eve, I swear it grew three sizes when he arrived.  And since then it's been stretching..and stretching, and growing to accomodate each smile, coo, and milestone. 

 

In one short week, my maternity leave will be over...and while it was different than what I expected, it was also magnificent in so many ways that I wasn't expecting.  Being able to bring my little one, all swaddled like a baby burrito in bed with me in the morning for that last hour before getting up...being able to study him all day long...seeing all the expressions he goes through while sleeping in my arms...burying my nose into his neck after each bottle...figuring out what each cry means, and knowing that he needs me in a way that no one else does.  Suffice it to say that knowing our mama and Max routine will be coming to an end soon (as we have to hustle out the door in the morning and struggle to keep our routine in the evening) has me more than a little emotional and a lot hormonal.  And so, my mama heart continues to ssstttreeeetch.

And, while my heart is stretching - my tear ducts are working in overtime.

In no particular order - the things that have made me cry this week (maybe this last hour?)

-the smell of Max's swaddle blankets

-singing " you are my sunshine"

-watching the Gilmore Girls (the episode where Rory graduates from Yale)

-doing a practice run to the daycare lady's house on Tuesday

-actually going to the daycare lady's house for a couple hours today

-Rob's voice on the monitor as he puts Max to sleep last night

-sorting through clothes today that Max is now too big for

-Wedding invitations

-Missing my friends at work

-Filling out Max's daycare forms

-Rob's tone of voice as he asked me if I thought the sleeper we put Max in was too small (there is a good chance I overreacted...I know you're all surprised).

-Going through my closet and weeding out all the clothes that don't fit (turns out I'm not going to fit into those jeans from high school ever again).

 

Likely there will be more meltdowns and tears over the next week or so until I officially return to work (and then, it's acceptable to just sit in my office and rock myself in the corner, right?).  So, as I prepare to join the workforce again next week - and my mama heart prepares to loosen it's grip on Max, send some positive thoughts my way, please.  And, thank you.  Also, pass the tissues.

(love this little mug)
xO 



A Budding Romance

It was only a matter of time before Max and his future girlfriend Brianna (daughter of my good friend Liz) went on a second date.  (If you recall - they met up for ice cream last month). Liz and I schemed and agreed we should go on a zoo date...luckily Max and I know some people there ;)  

 

The night before the big date - Max did a little reading...and brushed up on his animal knowledge!

The day of their date turned out to be the hottest day of the summer so far - but, Max pulled it together (read - he fell asleep) and we managed to spend a couple hours at the Zoo.  Our first stop was Discovery Reef because it's air conditioned - and also I thought it would be calming and serene for the babies.  Unfortunately, so did half the population of Columbus - so we didn't spend much time there.  Next up - Manatee Coast!

Max and Brianna were less than impressed with these gentle giants - Sea Cows if you will....
So - we made our way to African Forest. 

 While the gorillas weren't up to much (does anyone really feel like doing anything in 90 degree heat?)...this is where things really start to heat up between the wee ones.  You can see Brianna in the above picture, really craning her neck to get a good look at her beau. Max, on the other hand - is still sound asleep - but ready to fight off any potential threats to her honor (see his tiny fists?)

Brianna starts to get the hint and turns her attention elsewhere (see below!) 

We finished off with lunch at the food court.  Brianna enjoyed some rice cereal and Max enjoyed catching some more zzz's.  We decided to call it an afternoon due to the heat, humidity and increasing amounts of people at the Zoo! Once home - I stripped Max down to his diaper to help him cool off.  It's safe to say he enjoyed it...and is already looking forward to their third date!

Xoxo 

2 Months

While it seems unreal to say that we have a two month old - it's true!  These weeks are flying by for sure -- take a look at how he's growing!

That face - it literally makes my ovaries twitch.  It looks like he's saying "come on mom, pull it together - I'm over these pictures already!"  But we press on, week to week - because I love that little mug :)

 

We visited the doctor on Thursday and once again he was such a champ.  His new stats are:

 

Weight:  13 lbs 10 oz

 

Length:  24.5 inches

 

Champion of:  social smiles, filling diapers, cooing, snuggling, being patriotic, and eating

 

Learning to: grow hair up front (bye bye receding hair line), tolerate tummy time, gain neck control, and sleep through the night

 

After the usual length and weight measurements at the doctor - Max was due for his first round of vaccinations.  This included three shots and an oral vaccination.  The nurse came in and Max took the oral vaccination like a pro - he practically licked the spoon clean!  Next up, the shots - I literally had to hide behind Rob.  The minute I saw the syringes, I felt so bad.  So, Rob stood up front and held Max's little finger.  After the first needle went in - he was SOOOO upset.  He screwed his little face up and it got really red and then he let out a big wail.  And, cried REAL TEARS - usually he just sort of wimpers, but he lets some real ones fall this time.  Poor baby - Rob was able to calm him (and me) down quickly, we got three silver band aids, and were on our way.  Max fell alseep on the way home and I got a fountain diet coke! Win, win!

 

This past month with Max has been a blast (probably I will say that every month).  Ever since he started smiling it's pretty much the best thing ever - though his smile can quickly turn to a frown as he's into making lots of faces.  He can also arch one eyebrow which is pretty hysterical too. He loves to hang out in his diaper on hot days and mommy loves those swaddle blankets for a little extra protection when the air conditioning is blasting.  Another thing that mommy and daddy are grateful for - longer sleeping at night!  He is sleeping close to 6 hours - we start his bedtime routine (diaper change, outfit change, bottle, and sleep sheep) betwen 8 and 8:30 - so he's usually in his crib by 9.  Daddy is usually more successful than mommy when putting Max to sleep.  While we don't have a "nap schedule" so to speak - he usually takes a long nap in the morning and again in the afternoon with a short one right before or after dinner.  Mommy went through a crazy two days where she was convinced Max had "torticollus" - which basiclly means favoring one side of the neck over the other.  But, with some simple changes to the way we lay him in his crib and on the changing table - we saw almost instant improvements to him being able to turn his neck to both sides.  Most of our days are filled with hanging out on the exercise mat, kicking it in the snug a bunny chair, reading books, listening to Pandora, strolling around the neighborhood and singing "itsy bitsy spider". 

 

Mommy continues to dread going back to work (another post for another day) - and Daddy is obsessed with his new car and new grill! 

 

Xoxo

Our New Normal

 In the not so recent past I would catch myself saying things like "when I'm a mom I won't do that" or thinking things like "well it can't be that hard..." - it's funny how quickly my tune has changed!  I think it probably started in the hospital.  After Max arrived (via a long labor and eventual c-section) - I became a mom and Rob became a dad.  The things that Rob saw and helped me through...I can't even.  I cannot even.  Those moments had a way of humbling me and probably preparing me for what was ahead.  When they say "having a baby changes everything." They mean every. thing. In an abstract way I knew our lives would be different, but I really had no idea what was in store for us.  It's not just "Carrie and Rob + 1".  This new plus 3 has completely changed this former party of 2.  I'm not just me with a baby.  I'm a mom.  And as much as I may have resisted that change, it's safe to say I'm more than okay with it now. 

In the spirit of embracing change...here's a glimpse into our new normal.

 

It started in the basement.  The basement has never been what I would consider completely organized.  But - what it lacked in organization - it more than made up for in rubbermaid tubs.  The tubs at least protected our posessions from water and spider webs and helped me not lose my mind.  But then we added diapers to the mix.  I don't know if you know - but diapers are expensive.  So - if I can buy in bulk or there is a coupon - You better believe I'm picking up diapers.  The diaper box to rubbermaid tub ratio is quickly increasing - while the floor space is quickly decreasing.

Walk up the stairs to the main level of our house. Rob knows I always like to keep a certain level of clean (especially in the main living areas).  I think because there are so many things I can't change about our house...like the size, neighborhood, number of rooms etc. that when it comes to cleaning I become a little pyscho.  It's one of the things I can control (I mentioned I like control...right?).  Everything has a place in our house.  And, if it doesn't have a place - it has a basket, bin, cabinet, or rubbermaid tub that it goes in.  Enter Maxwell James.  It's so crazy how much crap you need with a baby.  I use the term "need" loosely - as I'm sure many of the things we have are just luxuries...but that stuff can get out of control quick!  The precious real estate in our family room has now been consumed by a pack and play, swing, and 3.2 million books.  And now, instead of my carpet...I see the exercise mat, rattles, balls, blocks, and a myriad of other tiny human toys!

(Exercise mat = great enrichment for Mr.Max)

(Trying to contain the small library of books and toys)

(When it can't be contained...piles become my best friend)

 

Moving up a level to the kitchen....at any given point you might see 8-10 bottles, caps, nipples, collars, and other bottle washing supplies strewn across the counter.   At first I was all, "why did I register for these dishwasher baskets?"  I will just hand wash and sterilize the bottles with my organic bottle soap..blah blah blah...  Two months in - I'm about putting those bottles in the dishwasher.  Ain't nobody got time for that! Amiright??! 

And, if you part the blades of grass on our "lawn" drying rack on the counter- you might see about 6 pacifiers.  Going into this whole motherhood thing I thought - "my child will never use a pacifier" ha!  First night in the hospital when Max wouldn't stop screaming?  Yeah, we totally popped that pacifier in his mouth - and now, it's the only brand he'll take!  So, of course we went and bought more at Babies R'Us.  The most common phrase as we exit our house now..."did you get the pacifier?".  While he doesn't need it all the time and actually spits it out frequently - there are certain times when it just helps soothe him in a way that Rob or I can't. I'm okay with that.

Upstairs - you will find another addition to the bedroom. (Spoiler alert - it's not the sexy kind!)  Enter the monitor.  Previous to Max - Rob and I were great sleepers!  Enter a nine pound bundle of joy that needs round the clock care.  Sleep?  What's that?  I joked with my friend Liz today that I feel like now I sleep with one eye and ear open at all times!  I crank both monitors up to the highest level before tucking myself in for the night.  Now, I don't get up at Max's every peep - but they provide a certain level of security - and they act as flash lights too.  I love a two for one! :) 

And...when all else fails - I've turned to coffee.  Forget about Diet Coke or energy drinks - I go straight for the cofee in the morning. 

So...when I really think about it - I owe a lot of people an apology.  To my mom, Rob's mom, all my mommy friends, who I was so quick to judge.  I'm sorry.  I had no idea.  No idea what I was in for.  No idea how hard it would be. How brave you are.  Or, how lonely the days could be. Or how much you may have needed my support.  Or a frozen meal.  Or a phone call.  Or heck, a cup of coffee.  On this motherhood journey, I'm only about 8 weeks deep - but I get it.  I really get it. 

Thankfully, I have this guy. 

And this guy.

 

So...it's totally worth it and I wouldn't trade our new normal for anything!

 

Honorary Auntie Kathy

Dear Max,

On Mother's Day, as I was just beginning my journey as your mom - I posted my status on Facebook as "Happy Mother's Day to all the incredible women in Rob and I's life..." This statement is so, SO true. Our family has some pretty amazing women in it.  From your marathon running Aunt Cassie (maybe someday my body will look like hers??) to your Mema, Grandmim, Grandma Sugar, and boss lady Aunt Stacy - you really are lucky to have such strong women to look up too. 

 

One very special lady who is very near and dear to my heart is Auntie Kathy Casto.  I know Auntie Kathy through your Grandmim.  They are very good friends (besties as Stacy and I tease)....and while I don't remember the exact details of our first meeting (most likely at the scrapbook store)- she is so special to us now.  It's almost like she's just always been a part of our family...and man have we been on some adventures! 

(Kathy and her husband Dave at your dad and I's wedding) 

(Kathy showing of her funny side in the photobooth at the wedding)

 

When the Cloud ladies decided we wanted to go to Kenya in the summer of 2007 - Kathy came along too! It actually worked out perfectly as Auntie Stacy and I were roommates and Auntie Kathy and Grandmim were roommates.  Kathy managed to herd us hang with us for 14 days - mothering us each day - reminding us to eat breakfast, bring our snacks and cameras, hustle us into the open air jeeps, and tuck us safely into our "luxury tent" each night.  (If only someone would have given her the right adapter for her beloved curling iron - which ended up a melted, bent mess).  She will likely kill me the next time she sees me for posting these pictures!

(In the back of our open air jeep!) 

(Hanging out in the lodge - pre curling iron melt down :)

 

Since Kenya, Kathy has been such a wonderful part of my life and now yours!  She is quick with a helping hand (just ask Stacy about Kathy hanging the curtain rod in her house), generous in spirit (half the plants in my garden are likely from her), can keep it real (she called my poppy out on his big old belly), and she's one of those people who keeps chocolate in her house all the time.  Everytime we go over there - she has these little chocolate covered crunchy bits in a candy dish (side note:  I think people with candy dishes are the BEST!  Who doens't love chocolate?)

 

Kathy also has what I like to refer to as "real life skills" - like she knows how to use power tools, can probably change the tire on her car, understands how all her appliances work and just how to fix them (or who to call if she can't), figured out how to get the fire going in the terra cotta pot for smores (apparently it needs air circulation) - and even fixed my parents timer on their Christmas blow mold nativity. All this time though - I thought her main talent was scrapbooking - but she was holding out on us Max!  She crocheted you the most beautiful baby blanket.  It's soooo soft and huggable.  Perfect for your little body to cuddle up with. I couldn't resist doing a little photo shoot with you all wrapped up in it.

(The ironic part is that Kathy also gave us most of the bedding we registered for when getting married) - so this picture is special for lots of reasons!) 

(Max has deemed this blanket perfect for napping on. Man, this picture doesn't feel that long ago - but Max you are certainly growing on us!)

 

Then, she went and surprised us again - with cross-stitched baby booties!

(Max - you are going to be a total babe magnet with these monogrammed shoes!)

 

Little did we know that she was cross stitching up a storm....because on Father's Day she gave us another present - beautiful cross stitched bibs and a sippy cup to boot.  And man, cross stitching is serious business - it's not one of those hobbies you can do while catching up on The Bachelorette (or is that just me?)  You have to really be paying attention, counting stitches, and keeping it all from getting to be a big knotted mess on the back.  Amiright??!! She does impeccable work!

 

 

 

 

(Look at the detail - can I really put these on you Max? They are practically works of art!)

 

You just never know what Auntie Kathy has up her sleeve (or at her house - did I mention the hummingbirds?  She has lots of beautiful hummingbirds - so many in fact that she had to get a special "swing" for them to sit on while they take turns on the feeder...it's pretty adorable).

 

So Max, while I work on getting my mama sea-legs - we are so lucky to have such wonderful women (and men!) in our lives.  They make me feel more capable and confident as a new mommy - but more importantly, they surround us with love and support everyday!