Throwing Out my "Lists"

You should know...the pictures I'm going to post have nothing to do with the words I'm writing..but let's be real...you probably just come to this blog to see how adorable Max is :) 

One time at work we had to take a "people mapping" class - in which, similar to a personality quiz - you answer questions about yourself, but they are more work focused.  At the end of the test it tells you whether you are a people, task, leader, or free spirited work type and actually it's a combination of your two lowest scores.  All this to say - I tested as a "people-task" person and my scores were almost tied.  What this means is - yes, I'm a people person - meaning, I want EVERYONE to like me and I bend over backwards to try and make this happen.  But I'm also very task oriented - meaning I love a good list.  Ask anyone - when packing for a trip, I follow a list.  When I'm going home to Dayton for the weekend, I have a list of places to visit, people to see, and in general what I want to do.  Each weekend, Rob knows that I will have a list of things I want to "get done".

(I call this Max's grumpy old man face) 

 

Fast forward to maternity leave...a blissful 12 weeks of bonding with Max...right?  Silly me, I also thought that I would be able to get 1.2 million other things done, every day and right away too.  What I'm learning is that's simply not possible.  My only job is to love on my newborn baby and take care of him (if I can fit in a few good tv shows on the i-pad...well that's just a bonus).  Needless to say..this has been hard for me to accept.   I foolishly thought I might not have enough to do...like between all the feeding, napping, and diaper changes, I might be twiddling my thumbs.  I mean, simply by staying home, I'm eliminating 40 hours of work obligations a week...right?  Wrong.  Case in point - I used to shower almost every day.  This week - no lie - I showered twice...and don't get me wrong - it was glorious and my hair actually did look okay...but even figuring out how to shower with a newborn is crazy.  (I ended up putting him in the bouncy seat and putting the bouncy seat in the bathroom and then checking on him 300 times by pulling back the shower curtain - ha!).  I was prepared for the sleepless nights, crazy schedules, and diaper blow outs.  But, what I wasn't prepared for was trying to navigate how my task oriented self would deal with having to let go of a lot of crazy expectations and my coveted to do list.  Most parents will tell you to savor every moment, and make the most of it because it goes so quickly.  But my question is, what does "make the most of it" mean?  Can I have the best of both worlds?  Is it possible to snuggle and love on Max while also taking advantage of the free time to get things done?

(Killing me with cuteness here!) 

Probably no one really has a great answer to those questions.  But, I was reading another mommy blog about being a new mom.  This blog suggested that you really need to give up the idea of a "to-do list".  Because in the crazy first days (and weeks) of caring for a newborn, it can be self defeating to set your goals to high.  There is so much life change happening that having a to-do list can lead to a sense of failure if you can't manage everything on the list that you think you "should".  This sense of "should" has actually been really hard too - like I "should" be able to get all the laundry done...but the reality is that I did the laundry and it sat int the basement for five days.  I "should" be able to find the time to weed the flowerbeds but...I'm lucky if Rob is actually able to mow the grass.  :)

 

(Max and I using the Ergo baby carrier for a little walk around the block)

 



This particular blog suggests instead of focusing on the "to-do's" - you should re-frame that thinking into "I dids".  Imagine the sense of accomplishment I will feel when I can cross everything off the list because I wrote the list at the end of the day!  ha!  Who can argue with 100% success rate?

All this to say - here is my list of "I dids" today:
-I put on clean clothes and brushed my teeth (don't judge...but there have been mornings when I forgot)
-Changed Max multiple times and fed him
-Went to lunch with Rob at Wholly Joes
-Manuevered through Costco with a BABY on a Saturday (Saturdays are notoriously busy for Costco...and a good day to go if you like samples!)
-Put away all of the items purchased at Costco (this always leads to a lot of rearranging and refrigerator clear out)
-Cleaned Pecans' litter box
-Emptied closet of maternity clothes and put them away in the basement (though...let's be honest - I don't fit into a lot of my old clothes)
-Cleared out Max's newborn clothes (*tear*) and put them in a tub in the basement
-Cooked dinner (Rob and I had to eat in shifts...as Max was a bit fussy)
-Put in a load of laundry (but kind of forgot about it...)
-Walked to Jeni's ice cream with Rob and Max for an after dinner treat
-Created this blog post

So, right now and moving forward, I'm going to cut myself some slack and take serious pride in what I do get done.  I don't want to look back on the first 12 weeks of Max's life and not remember the way he stretches out on the changing table in the morning, holds his two little hands over his chest while he drinks from his bottle, pounds his little nose and mouth into my shoulder (like a woodpecker) when he's hungry, stares in fascination at Rob and I when he first wakes up, and LOVES to be outdoors!  I think this view shift...will leave both Max and I feeling quite happy! 

(My two favorite guys at the pediatrician's!)