Making Time for Friends

The other day when I dropped Max off at "school," I gave his teacher a little

composition notebook for essential oil recipes that we had tried and liked

and some others that we were planning on trying. It was no big deal.  But, it was

the kind of gift I could have definitely used when I first got into essential oils. 

As I was making it - I didn't think much of it. 

When I handed it to her, she said "thank you so much" and then she said, 

"you're like superwoman". And I just stared it her in disbelief. 

If she could have only known that I hadn't showered that morning. 

I had not made myself breakfast or lunch (but I did for Max, so that counts, right?). 

I had two library books that were overdue in the car.  We had eaten out two out

of the three nights that week. And on and on. 

My friends, I'm here to tell you that I'm not superwoman.  

Not even close (though, I think my own mother might be). 

Here's what's working for me.

Get yourself a pretty great husband.  

I can vouch for that.  He needs to be someone that 

is cool, calm, and collected at almost any given time. 

He needs to be able to help you tackle the to do list and

get you out of those crazy situations where you've agreed it's your

turn to clean the bathroom (times two) but you really want to make pumpkin

chocolate chip cookies, and oh did I mention all the laundry needs put away?

(You can't have this guy though, he's already taken). 

Also having a sister with endless patience, an eye for parks in her neighborhood, 

a dog your little one can't resist, an understanding that you 

can't stay in your own house one second longer, and introduces you to her own friends                which later become your friends too...yeah - that doesn't hurt :)

(the best sister in all the land!!)

Beyond your husband/partner/significant other etc. and family - 

Get yourself an army of friends. I'm not even joking a little bit. 

Get some mom friends - those with kids that you can talk all things

toddler about.  You can ask them questions like "my child won't sleep - do you 

have any ideas"?  And other things like "he cries when I drop him off at daycare

and it breaks my heart - what can I do?" (and they will suggest 

an amazing episode of Daniel Tiger called "parents come back). 

You can arrange play dates, park dates, and fun around town times!

(This is my numero uno mom friend - she's mine - but 

I can share :) We go waaaaayyy back.)

But go beyond mom friends. Really truly. Because your 

single childless friends - they are super important too! 

And your married without kids friends. And older friends

who have done the mom thing and can pass on some more advice. 

And friends who married but never had any kids. 

And even younger friends who are just trying to make through

college or are newly married themselves. 

(Here's the supper club gals - we meet once a month

at restaurant around time to catch up!)

More than once I've said to Rob, "I'm just a better wife/mother/teacher person in

general" when I make the time to connect with all these people. 

Admittedly it's more work to have more friends. It takes flurries of emails

and text messages just to nail down a date for coffee or dinner. 

Everyone has different schedules and different priorities. 

I totally get it.   

(Here's a friend I made at work - and even though

she's moved on to a new job, we still keep in touch

and our boys go to the same school)

(Hit up your husband's friend's girlfriend too!

It's fun to make new friends!)

The "extra work" is absolutely worth it.

I try to schedule things around Max's nap time

or even after he goes to bed. And it's really good for me. 

It's nice to focus on something other than my child for a little bit.

We can talk about our latest Pinterest find. Or, a concert

we are excited to go to.  Or, where they got that cute shirt. 

Or, what's new on campus. Believe it or not, it's easy for me to 

fall instep with these friends, no matter the time that passes. 

(ZooKids for life friends!)

I like the perspective I gain from hanging out with all these

different types of people. And I like how their 

friendship enriches my life in different ways. 

(Far away friends - even time differences can't keep us down!)

Bottom line - friendships are important. 

I know as a mom that I have to choose to say yes to some things and 

no to others. I do find though that the more I can say yes (after

talking with Rob and making sure we're on the same page) - the more

I'm rewarded personally.  They are nurturing me and raising me up

and making me feel like I'll make it. 

And I will. We all will :)

xoxo